PROFILE FOR BADGER

DATE OF BIRTH : DEEP WITHIN THE BRECON BEACONS FORESTRY RANGE

PLACE OF BIRTH : DEEP UNDERGROUND IN A SETT

REASON FOR BIRTH : TO MAKE AS MANY CUBS AS POSSIBLE TO ENSURE THE FUTURE BADGER RACE WHILST FIGHTING EVERY AND ANYTHING

SPECIAL POWERS : TO PRODUCE WORLD RECORD SIZED CUBS

FAVOURITE SAYING = EARL U FUCKING TWAT

PROFILE :Most badgers in Britain live socially in groups or clans consisting of several adult badgers and their young. Typically, each clan is headed by a dominant male (boar) and female (sow). These animals command the use of the best sleeping chambers in the sett, and the best foraging areas in the clan's range. Fighting within a clan can occur. this happens most often when the number of badgers in the clan increases and / or the food supplies in the clan's range decrease. The younger, subordinate animals may then be forced to leave their clan's territory and go off in search of pastures new. If they don't, they run the risk of receiving severe injuries in further fights. Severe bite wounds to the rump often result from such battles

Badge was born back in the early seventies during a period of sevear instability in the local earth worm populaton causing the young badge to develop an uncanny knack of fighting for just about anything and every thing. With his early grounding in life badge set of on this perilous expedition that was to become the fokelore that is "badger".

Due to the badgers early diet of horse shit flies and decomposed road kill strange this started happening with the young badge metamorphing at an alarming rate untill by the age of 2 he stood at 6ft 2and 15 stone in weight. This in turn increased his appetite causing an even greater food shortage for the local badger population.. by 3 the grand council of wiser than wise badgers was conviened and the young badge was bannished from the collony in hope that the remaining members might salvage enough food to see the season out..

Sighting continued for the next year or so with a route appearing.. following the trail of pillaged sheep, broken noses and pregnant sows it appeared the badge was heading south in to south wales.more worrying was to follow with badges early attempts to cover his tracks with lighting fires in the hope of throwing the scent for the ensuing pack of pissed of badges with illagitament kids.(easilly spotable from the standard badger due to their size..twice the size of the average.)

TO BE CONTINUED