PROFILE FOR RUN FOR COVER (AKA STE/R4C/EEL BOY/THE TAMPERER)

DATE OF BIRTH : SOMETIME IN THE LATE SEVENTIES IN A FOREST FAR... FAR AWAY.

PLACE OF BIRTH : NOT KNOWN... FOUND IN A FLOATING BASKET ON THE LOCAL RIVERBANK.

REASON FOR BIRTH : TO TAMPER WITH ANYTHING THAT WORKS PERFECTLY ALREADY.

SPECIAL POWERS : TO GET MAXIMUM PERFORMANCE FROM A STANDARD 56K HAMSTER POWERED MODEM.

PIC OF RUN FOR COVER

FAVOURITE SAYING : "If it aint broke, tinker with it till it is." (ACTUAL QUOTE TAKEN FROM A TYPICAL CONVERSATION ON MSN MESSENGER)

PROFILE :

FOUND WASHED UP ON A RIVERBANK SOMEWHERE IN THE HOBBIT TERRITORIES WITH A DUMMY IN HIS MOUTH AND A PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER HELD TIGHTLY IN HIS HAND; YOUNG STEVO WAS TAKEN IN BY DESCENDANTS OF THE BAGGINS FAMILY. IT SOON BECAME APPARENT THAT THIS YOUNG INFANT WAS RATHER ERRRR.... 'SPECIAL'.

THERE ARE MANY THEORIES AS TO WHY HE WAS ABANDONED IN SUCH A SEEMINGLY CRUEL FASHION. THE PRIMARY BELIEF OF THE FOREST FOLK WAS HIS SHEER ENTHUSIASM FOR MEDDLING WITH ELECTRICAL ITEMS THAT WERE IN FACT IN PERFECT WORKING ORDER.

COULD IT BE THAT THIS YOUNG CHAP HAD SINGLE HANDILY DISABLED THE ALREADY OPERATIONAL TELEVISION, BETA-MAX VIDEO, ZANUSSI TOP LOADER OWNED BY HIS GENETIC PARENTS???

AS YEARS PROGRESSED AND STE DEVELOPED INTO AN ADULT THIS THEORY LOOKS TO HAVE FIRM FOUNDATION.

NOW LIVING IN A RENOVATED TREE STUMP IN THE FOREST OF DEAN; STE LIVES OFF A BALANCED TREE DWELLERS DIET OF TOADSTOOL AND CHOPPED EEL SOUP. I'M AFRAID TO REPORT HIS TAMPERING HAS NOW ESCALATED TO TITANIC PROPORTIONS. HIS ONE SUCCESS HAS BEEN TO SUCCESSFULLY TRAIN A SMALL HAND-REARED HAMSTER (FREDERIC) TO POWER A STANDARD 56K MODEM. IT IS REPORTED THAT LAST WEEK FREDERIC ATTAINED 57.5KBPS BY BEING ANALLY ELECTROCUTED BY A SPECIALLY CONFIGURED 'HAMSTER PROD'. (A SCALED DOWN VERSION OF A CATTLE PROD IN ACTUAL FACT 'AN ELECTRICAL TOOTHPICK'. IT IS RUMOURED THAT THE R.S.P.C.A ARE CURRENTLY ON HIS TRAIL.